Well, it is official... Angry Birds are here to stay. On top of the host of great, free content we constantly get hit in the side of the head with - we now get hit right in the mouth. Yes, a proverbial assault on all of our senses by those cute and grumbling little birds now includes the taste buds. Soon they will be crashing into your tongue in bursts of apple, lemon, grape, cherry, strawberry, and blue raspberry all color coordinated with the color of the birds (and pigs).
Don't believe me? I don't blame you, after all - who could possible believe in such madness? Well, me for one but I don't doubt that all the rest of you are sitting out there with a dumbfounded look on your face. Allow me to educate you a bit on the discovery of such treasures. On a weekly trip with a co-worker over to the degenerative cesspool that is Wal-Mart, we found these delicious little boxes of snacks for only A DOLLAR!!!! YES, A SINGLE DOLLAR BUYS YOU DELICIOUS FRUIT SNACKS SHAPED LIKE DEFORMED VERSIONS OF ANGRY BIRDS!!! These were nestled in a bin of ordinary candy, but these are no ORDINARY snacks!!! No, these are the snacks dreams are made of - things that exist only in the far-off lands where imagination had a bastard child with irrational; where Super Mario Bros. the Movie doesn't completely suck ass; where you can eat cereal based on your favorite Nintendo video games!!!! This is the land of dreams and hopes... not rational or logical. This is a land of freedom, not shackled by the close-minded tyrants and consumers that mindlessly support Apple products. This is... THE DREAM!!!
Hesitate not, steadfast one... you need these... and you need them now. I suggest you jump in whatever means of transportation ASAP and get to the store before they are gone and discontinued, when you just want to flop on your bed and weep for endless nights. For now, they are here and real; GET YOU SOME!!!
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